I was a singing diva this weekend, with performances on Friday night and this afternoon. This afternoon was in a big old theatre in town. Very exciting and cool.
On Friday night, though, we sang with another community chorus, and they performed this song which maybe is well known, I don't know, but it resonated so beautifully for me. If I ever get a recording that I love as much as theirs (I found a few on youtube that I wasn't nuts about), I can share on this blog I will, but for now, the words will do. It is an old South African song, called Woyaya, and the words are these:
We are going, heaven knows where we are going, but we know within
And we will get there, heaven knows how we will get there, but we know we will
It will be hard, we know. And the road will be muddy and rough, but we'll get there
We'll get there, heaven knows when we will get there, we know we will
How universal are those words? When I think about those people who wrote those words, those impoverished, brutally opresssed people, I feel almost ashamed that I am pirating their words to apply to my own personal crisis, my own loss of one, little child, one child who would have fit beautifully into my otherwise privileged and kind of perfect life. But, as it has come up so many times in this blog, it is all relative, no? This loss of my child, this struggle I have had to reclaim my life has been my journey, my realest truth. It is a struggle that I share with very few people whom I actually know. And those words will resonate with those of you who stand where I do, who have waded through the pit where you want to die, yet you know, you have been shown by your child that there is light out there, and you know you will find it. You don't know how to find it, but you know you will, some day, although you can't fathom exactly how or when that might happen. All you know is that it will be hard, and that you have no choice.
And, distantly related to this, I have moved into depressing music mode. There are 3 CDs I listen to, they were the 3 I had on constantly during our sitting time, the months of May and June, 2003. They are,
Dar Williams, The Beauty of the Rain
Richard Shindell, Somewhere Near Patterson
Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer, Drum Hat Buddha
These CDs are not so much depressing in themselves as they transport me back to the time where it hurt to take each breath. I like it.
The other CD that lurks in the wings, and if you are reading this and you know this CD, you are obliged to comment. Obliged. Anyone have/know the CD Appalachian Journey? It is YoYoMa, Marc O'Connor and Edgar Meyer. This music is Charlotte's Music. It played through her labor. There is a song on it that she was born to. Does anyone know this? If you have it, tell me. I will tell you which song she was born to. It haunts me, and can bring her to me most any day.
1 comment:
Have it, love it, birthed my living children to it, played it for Sophie when she was alive inside me.
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