Thursday, November 6, 2008

You truly are going to have to excuse my brief foray into politics. This is NOT a political blog, and I will return (I promise) to the throes of mothering by tomorrow.

But I have to say it, I just have to-- I am disgusted by California. I am disgusted, and dismayed, and beyond anything, deeply saddened. And this is about family and mothering and everything else, because it's about people's rights to be born and grow up and become grown people who can make independent choices for themselves. It's about people having the right to have the same rights as everyone else around them. It just makes my head spin around in a hundred circles of dazzling disbelief that a nation that shakes its head disapprovingly at the mere mention of women being unable to vote, or blacks being unable to marry whites, would continue to try to justify the fact that marriage is specific to one man and one woman.

It makes me want to cry to think that people would go out of their way to BAN people from sharing the civil rights that their brothers, sisters, parents and neighbors enjoy. Every citizen of this nation should be granted the same basic rights. Is this not the basis of our constitution?

And you know what? If you belong to one of the religions that condones hatred, and is against gays, then go ahead and ban gays from marrying in your church, because guess what? There won't be any gays in your congregation anyway. But do not put those laws on my country, because it isn't up to this country to make those rules (or the state of California).

And this is the thing, you hear these people saying, "Oh, I have gay friends and I TOTALLY support them making their own choice, but I just really think that marriage is just between a man and a woman." Oh, that is such total bullshit. What you are, is anti-gay. You don't support them making a choice. You are denying them a civil right, and you are denying them the human right to choose a life partner and to be respected in that choice.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It just makes me want to wilt.


Melanie said...

YES! Thank you!

Aimee said...

This is one of those things that I just cannot wrap my brain around. The whole idea that marriage has to be restricted to males and females "in order to maintain the sanctity of the institution" just doesn't make sense to me. My closest friend from college is gay and I would LOVE it if someone could explain to me how HER CHOICE to get married in ANYWAY affects the relationship I have with my husband! How does HER CHOICE IN PARTNERS at all change the "sanctity" of my heterosexual relationship and my marriage? Are Chris and I headed for doom because SHE wants to marry a SHE? I just don't get it! Anyone who can explain it to me, please do!

Birdies Mama said...

AMEN! I am also pissed off about this "decision" in CA! It's beyond rediculous!

Aubrey said...

I am right there with all of you, and sickened by the outcome of prop 8. I would appreciate some clarification as well, because it seems devoid of sense to me. One of my closest friends is gay, and it breaks my heart that should he fall in love just like my husband and I did, and want to marry, he wont be able to. I cry inside for him and all homosexuals, I am angry.

It stems from people believing homosexuality is a "choice". Well I have to say...I personally can't remember the day I said to myself "hmm I like boys instead of girls, I am gonna go with that."

P.S. I hopped over here from Erin's blog, I have been reading in the shadows for a little while, you are an exquisite writer!

Shannon said...

Carol, I completely agree. People are such hypocrites. I guess freedom is only for straight people.

Meg said...

I don't even think it's the 'right to be married' as much as the right to share health coverage and be able to both make decisions for their children. When the other partner is not recognized, it can cause huge problems if a member of the family is in the hospital. It's more important that just being married for love. They know they love each other regardless, but it's the rights that come along with that marriage that matter the most.

Hennifer said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My younger brother, D, came out of the closet when I was 19 or so. Besides myself, my grandmother was the only one who continued to love my brother without question, to support him.

My family disowned him for some time and eventually came around. They even took "some interest" in gay rights and eventually "welcomed" his long-term partner, M, into the family. For a long time though my father refused to really address M personally, or to refer to him in any kind of way that let people know he was "related" to our family, even if only by love. Measures would come up regarding gays and education, marriage, civil rights, etc. My family would set and discuss them in the same close minded way as if D wasn't gay.

Finally I had it and I explained to them that most of those rules were created out of fear and hate and were based on out assumptions that gays had agendas, and were some how perverted, and that any time they supported one like that they weren't truly accepting D for who we know him to be. It had to be all or nothing. It was a hard conversation and it has been a hard road for some family members. My paternal grandparents still have shut him out of their lives. I know that it shook my parents faith and it is hard to look at our prejudices but we must.

And I have never been more proud of my parents than I was when they made it a PRIORITY to drive to Canada and be witness to D and M's marriage.

I hope we wake up some day... I myself am excited that we have a president-elect who is black but we have to keep moving forward, not use this as an excuse to say "see, we're not so bad"