Who is in charge, here?

I feel like I am somehow on a rant that just won't stop. It comes with the territory of being bitter about becoming a statistic. So here's another thing, this also pertaining to this idea that a hospital birth is inevitably tied up in a sea of interventions resulting in a c-section (not truly, but you know what I mean)
Are we not all free agents?
Now I know I am lucky, truly fortunate, to have a really great birthing center at our local hospital, and I have had the same, very fabulous nurse with me for each of my births. So I was given a nice jaccuzzi to lie in, was offered a nice big birthing ball to sit on, and when I of course demanded to be monitored so I could hear that sweet heartbeat they made sure it was a telemetry one so I could walk around, move, etc. I was encouraged not to lie down, was given a squatting bar, this was all very good. I know that most moms are not offered such things.
But rather than steering people away from a hospital, why am I not really seeing much action towards changing hospitals, and first and foremost, educating mothers? Or rather, where can I find the people who are working from this angle? To me this seems really logical. Really, even if you wanted to, there would be many, many moms who could never be convinced to give birth at home. So rather than coccooning up with the rest of the homebirthers, why not work hard to change what's happening in hospitals? To make sure mothers KNOW what might happen, and have the education to assist in weighing and calculating the risk possible to their babies and themselves?
Yeah, I know. This actually is going on. I am missing it, because I am sequestered in this spoiled rotten granola crunching valley where our hospital already IS good and where lots of people have homebirths and where all the people who get epidurals have asked for them, begged for them.
But this is where I want to be. I want to change things from the inside, not walk away from the whole problem. And by saying this I am not insinuating that people who are pro-homebirth are walking away from the problem, quite the contrary, in fact. It's just that while obviously that pro-natural birth community is working quite hard to re-establish birth as normal, and sees a logical consequence of this action as moving away from the hospital in uncomplicated, risk free deliveries, we have already established that I don't share that opinion due to my freaky sensation that all babies in the womb are ticking time bombs, liable to drop dead at any moment.
So anyway, here's my point. We are all free agents. We are all free to say NO. We can say no to monitoring, ultrasounds, pitocin, epidurals, and even a c-section. We can at any point walk out the door. Right? So who is the one responsible for the interventions? Is it the doctor? Is it the nurse? And isn't it also the patient? The consenting patient?
So here's the plan. Once I have successfully trained all the OB's and nurses and midwives and doulas in the northeast US to be really awesomely conscientious and kind and do all the right thing for the people whose babies DO die; AND after I have made sure that every person whose baby dies has access to adequate support networks; AND after I have made sure that all hospitals and homebirth midwives have access to and use excellent photography equpiment, dental-stone castings, beautiful blankets, etc. all this first-rate stuff for memory making; AND after I have totally revolutionized in general the way that perinatal loss is viewed in the obstetrical and nursing community; THEN I will move onto this subject. The patient needs to know what is happening to her. Because she is the one saying yes. So that's the next thing.