Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Ride Out

Greg went down ahead of me, to get the car.

I felt too weak to walk, weak, I believed, from giving birth. I now know differently.

The nurse helped me into a wheelchair. It hurt, hurt, hurt to sit, and she offered me a donut to sit on. I remember sitting, in pain, while she rummaged in a closet looking for one. I felt as if I had been cheated of this simple comfort, a donut for my sore and ravaged bottom, because the lack of a baby on my lap caused them to forget I had just given birth.

She wheeled me down the hall, and into the elevator, and then we had to go down the long hall, lined with chairs, past all the people. I stared at my lap. I probably looked as if I was still pregnant, but only a little.

We went outside into the brilliant sunshine. We stood, waiting for Greg.

I felt sorry for the nurse. What could she say to me? How do you make small talk, in the brilliant sunshine, when there is no baby?

Greg pulled the car up, and I looked for the car seat in the back, but it was gone.

I wondered what he had done with it, but I did not ask.

I got in the car and drove home, leaving my life behind.

1 comment:

Hope's Mama said...

Oh yes, how this is familiar. Except the day was drab and dreary for me. And there was no nurse. I walked out alone. No wheelchair, no help, no donut and certainly no baby. I guess it is easy to forget a 1 day post partum woman might need some help/comfort or ANYTHING when there is cleraly not a baby to be seen. Our car seat was gone too, but that's because I'd asked my father in law to take it out the day before. Somehow thinking that would make it all better.....
Love to you Carol. Especially now we're in May.