Last night I lay with Liam in the mostly-dark of his bedroom. The sound machine whirred, the walls were reflecting a dim yellow-blue from the glow of his little night light. I lay next to him, my head almost over him, buried in the covers beside his head. Suddenly, he started.
What was that? he said.
What was what?
That shadow. A shadow just went gliding across the ceiling.
I looked, and saw nothing. There was nothing animate between the light and the ceiling, nothing rational to make a shadow.
"I don't know," I said. "What do you think it was?" But inside, I smiled to myself.
Tonight, at dinner, I told him, "That shadow you saw? I think it was Charlotte's spirit."
He looked confused. "But I saw it," he said.
"Sometimes," I told him, "If you are very lucky, you can see a spirit."
He smiled at me then, a knowing smile of pure joy. We said no more.
He smiled at me then, a knowing smile of pure joy. We said no more.
5 comments:
Carol I think my heart just skipped a beat. Last night as I was laying in bed, I saw a dark shadow move across our ceiling. I looked to Simon to see if he saw it, but he was already asleep. I got shivers reading this. Our babies are so present.
Yes. They are present, everywhere. Bear can see Emma, her name was her first word. Now, nearly six and more able to speak about it, she tells me when she sees her. I smile inside and out every time.
I'm so glad you and Liam were able to share that moment.
My son would tell me that he was seeing green lights, where there were none. I don't really believe in that kind of thing, but I want to.
A few months after we lost Sophie, we were flying to FL when my then 4-year-old daughter swears she saw a pure white butterfly fluttering over a bump in the clouds. Not really thinking, I told her butterflies don't get up this high in the sky. She sat back, pouted a bit and then got a determined look on her face. "Mom," she said, "Maybe you didn't see her, but I really did see Sophie. She's up in the clouds, just playing." I started to cry and told her she was absolutely right.
What a sweet moment.
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