Sunday, October 25, 2009

Your turn

Here's what I need.

I have been a support to women who are doing this again, over the years. I have said, again and again, I know that you can't believe that everything is going to be allright. You can't. It just isn't in your emotional brain to do so. So, do you know what I am going to do? I am going to believe for you. I am going to take that hope that is too risky for you to hold, and I am going to hold onto it for you.

Can I give you a little bit of hope, and ask you to hold it for me? Because I can't even think past tomorrow, and when I imagine that this baby might live, it terrifies me because it forces me to think of the alternative. And I know I am getting down to the wire-- in four or so weeks, one way or the other, I will know the ending to this story. Or the beginning. Or however you want to qualify it.

Please RSVP in the comments section if you will hope for me. If you have a good relationship with a higher power, throw that in for me, too. I could use everything you can offer.

Thank you.

49 comments:

kris said...

I can hold hope and say prayers, my dear Carol. I've been doing it already. Whatever you need, you just ask. Sending so much love and peace your way.

Sara said...

Oh, Carol. I am holding so much hope for you right now. I'm sorry I never thought to say it to you! I believe this baby will be born alive and healthy and I can't wait to make his/her acquaintance. I believe for you.

Prayers and hope,
Sara

Mira said...

Praying and hoping with and for you...

Ali said...

YOu definately have my hope and prayers, as I have hope for myself.

Rixa said...

I have already been thinking about you a lot...

rebeccaeee said...

You bet. I will hold hope and certainty for you. Lightning will not strike twice. This baby will live. I will dare to say what you cannot bear to think. Come four weeks, we will be celebrating with all of you.

Taking Heart said...

Carrying a piece of your hope... and praying you through.

Karen L. said...

Never commented before, but I'm holding hope for you.

Erika P said...

I'm here too, Carol, hoping with and for you, keeping in my mind the image of you holding your living, breathing, healthy, new little one. I've been thinking of you a lot and will certainly continue to do so. And I need to email you - sorry to have been a bit out of touch.

xo

Christy said...

Here for you, too, Carol. Knowing it can and WILL all be good. Positively thinking, hoping, praying, wishing for excellent health and joy in this for you.
xxxooo
Christy

Jen said...

Carol, I am holding that hope with all of my might.

mama said...

My dear sweet friend.
This is my RSVP of HOPE!
Within my heart and soul, the hope is overflowing. In my own quiet way of prayer to the starz...I will ask them to bring you your sweet little babe, safely to your arms.

Positive vibes
Love
and
HOPE.

love you so much.
Erin

kris said...

Carol, I just need to come back to echo Sara and others. We will believe for you, but more importantly, we believe IN you...and we believe in that sweet life you are carrying. And we believe in Charlotte. Wherever she is, I know she is holding her brother or sister's hand until s/he is in your hands.

Melinda said...

Delurking to offer you all of my prayers, from now up until that sweet, pink, perfectly healthy baby is born (and beyond!).

Adelaide's Mom said...

RSVPing my hope. Wish I could be there in person to hold your hand and give you my hope in person. I check the blog everyday...seeing as my girls both came 3 weeks early, I figure you could be close.

xo

Rachel said...

Thinking of you and sending all the hope I can spare!

Nancy said...

Hi Carol,

I was just in Vermont with Kim and Reid Bryant-we all talked so highly of you. Of course I will hold hope for you. 7 months after baby taz I was in the park with Kim and our daughters when she told me your story. When my context of hope was really destroyed-the story of Carol and here two living children shined as a beacon.

I could not picture giving birth to Lucia but I could picture holding her at my 40th birthday which was 3 months later. And hold her I did and do. Even though I was a complete mental case during my last pregnancy I am jealous of the baby in your belly. So hang in there. The last weeks of my pregnancy I could only focus on being busy, exercising, and the only way I could sleep was listening to the hypno birthing cd. I'm not sold on hypno birthing but the cd made me fall asleep every time. Know there is hope, love, and light for you in Colorado.

With love of babies!

Lara

"I have had dreams and I have had nightmares and I conquered my nightmares because of my dreams"
-J Salk

after iris said...

I'm hoping, hoping, hoping with all my might.

Thinking of you and your beautiful baby. x

Hope's Mama said...

Here is my RSVP to say count me in, I'll HOPE for you. I'll HOPE for you until I explode! We're so close Carol. Thinking of you all the way.
xo

angie said...

I am holding hope for you...sending you peace, grounding, calm, love and of course, hope. XO

Beth said...

I'm RSVPing instantly here, something that NO ONE does when the get invitations with RSVPs. they delay until they are sure. WELL I AM SURE! I SURE WILL HOPE FOR YOU!! and i have a great relationship with my higher power, my Lord Jesus Christ. i read a quote that said "the faith that can't be shaken is the faith that has been shaken." so here i am, me and my unshakable shaken faith.. hoping and praying for you, your new family, charlotte's memory, and your 4th new baby.

Velvet Sweatpants said...

I will gladly envision the best for you. Nothing but good and beautiful thoughts of peace, love and LIFE for all of you- coming all the way from the great Pacific Northwest.

Blessings, sweet mama, it's going to be great!

erica said...

Hoping hard for you, and wishing you strength and peace and love.

excavator said...

I'm absolutely holding hope and belief for you. And, from your other responses, look at how it's multiplied.

What a beautiful thing you have done for other women, other mothers.

Danny said...

Holding that hope for you on a daily basis, as so many did for me when I was so terrified that my son wouldn't make it. I am visualizing that happy, healthy baby.

Meg said...

Hoping for you everyday! Can't wait to see this beautiful, healthy, LIVE baby soon!!!

Meg said...

Hoping for you everyday! Can't wait to see this beautiful, healthy, LIVE baby soon!!!

Aimee said...

I'm in, Carol, you know I am. You got me Evan and he's alive and well and I now know how easy it is to see for others the obvious--that it will all be okay--and not see it for yourself. So I'm here, Carol, and I'm positive everything will be fine.

Hennifer said...

I hold hope for you each and every day Carol! I will hold as much as I can for you and while I'm not sure about higher powers I will light a candle for you and your babes tonight.

Hillary Mac said...

Holding loads and loads of hope for you and your precious one.

Justin's Mom said...

I will hope for you. I also know in my heart that evertyhing will be ok with your baby. I will keep praying for you and your family during this time.

CLC said...

I've got lots of hope for you! You and this little one can do it. Just a few more weeks, hang in there and know that we are all hoping and praying.

Courtney Cloud said...

Hope. I love that word. I love everything about Hope. I will hold Hope for you. I have hope that one day I will hold a living baby in my arms too. Praying for you tonight. There is a higher power who loves you more than you could imagine. I pray that you feel His love tonight.

Jeanette and Greg said...

RSVP - yes for HOPE...from jeanette in california.

KL said...

I'm coming out of the wood work...I don't remember how I came across your blog awhile ago, but I have been reading and "listening" and I feel that what you share is beautiful and heartfelt. I will "hold" hope of you, for sure! All blessings to you and this baby =)

acc said...

Holding hope!

xo,
AC

Dani819 said...

Hoping from here, too!

jojo said...

There are things that I am holding out to say to you on Sunday, things I have been planning to say for quite some time, and they all have to do with hope. With the hope that I carry for you and the hope I long for you to gather for yourself. I can already envision your healthy, breathing, beautiful baby in the month of November. I can't wait to meet him or her.

loribeth said...

Thinking of you &, yes, holding that hope for you. And looking forward to hearing good news from you in a few weeks!

shelby said...

I am holding hope for you, Carol.

shelby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Minnesota Mom said...

Carol,
hope, love, strength, peace -
Donna

Joy said...

Thinking about you all the time : )_

Ya Chun said...

not hoping, knowing!

Isla's Mommy said...

I'm just getting caught up in my reading, but today is already tomorrow, so you're one day closer already!

I'm holding a little piece of hope for you too, and sending much love. xoxo

Kerri said...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!
xoxoxo

Francesca said...

Hoping and believing for you!

Emma in Canada said...

I'm hoping for you!

Tami said...

Hoping and praying for you in Houston.