The Happy Sad Mama

My first daughter, Charlotte Amelia, was born silently into the world on May 13, 2003. Since her birth and death our family has welcomed four living children. Joy and gratitude prevail in our life together, yet my sadness is always with me, tucked alongside the beauty of every day.

Monday, July 22, 2013

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Charlotte came to Alberta once, when I was first pregnant. Greg's dad was turning sixty, and they had a huge party for him. We brought o...
7 comments:
Monday, May 13, 2013

6:30

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It is now six thirty. I have felt labor as my epidural wore down, and been told I should push the baby out. How am I supposed to do that? I...
3 comments:

8:30-12:30

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It is now past noon. In my mind, the rain pours down and the sky is steel gray, though I cannot see it through my window. As I type the sunl...

5:30-8:30 AM

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There is a space that happens between last night and today. It is the space between hope and loss, between optimism and despair. Somewhere i...
Sunday, May 12, 2013

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Already it is almost happening. It was an almost-day today, one full of sunshine and wistful smiles, where our family moved as if behind fro...
Tuesday, April 30, 2013

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I'm still here, you know. My life whirls beneath my feet, children at all ends, and yet I am still not full. I will never be full. There...
3 comments:
Monday, February 25, 2013

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I am at the YMCA. I see a woman whom I haven't seen in two years. Her son was in preschool with Aoife. She marvels at Fiona and Maeve, ...
6 comments:
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Charlotte's Mama
After losing my first daughter and rediscovering joy with my four living children, I try to eke as much happiness as possible out of all the beauty that surrounds me. You've got it too, the beauty. Find it.
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