So, when I'm at the YMCA, and I see the husband of an old friend who I met when we were both pregnant with our first girl, (and hers lived, of course), and he greets me so nicely even though I don't recognize him at first, and then he says to me that he hears we're going for.... and there is a pause... and he holds up his hand with four fingers upheld, do I feel sorry for him, because I can tell he wavered, and wasn't sure whether to hold up four, or five, or do I feel sorry for myself, because I know he knows it's really five? Honestly, truly, I'm not sure how I feel.
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As a complete aside, those of you fortunate to have living children who attend school should check out www.RaceToNowhere.com. It's an amazing film I had the pleasure to view last weekend, very thought provoking....
2 comments:
It is difficult for everyone, but of course more so for us, as this is sadly our reality. The confusing families where no one is ever really sure what the headcount is. We know in our hearts though, even if others don't see it or can't acknowledge it.
xo
All could be made smoother if there was a cultural shift from "Is this your first" and counting and younger, older, trying for another all that. I try to avoid language and questions like that now - I figure if I get to know a person more and more, there story will unfold and I will find out if the kid I see before me has siblings of any sort.
and that guy should feel like a chump for the rest of his day, maybe even week.
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