The sun shone today, and I felt it pulsing through the windshield, heating up my car as I drove down the road with Aoife two rows back from me in the golden van. She was semi-reclined in her cow-print car seat, her big pink hat poufed up above her elfin face.
"What did you do at school today?"
The usual question, and I expected an answer about the castle banquet they were preparing for that will happen tomorrow. Instead, I got this:
The usual question, and I expected an answer about the castle banquet they were preparing for that will happen tomorrow. Instead, I got this:
"We had a banquet, it was a banquet for Charlotte."
I had to check a few times to make sure I hadn't misheard, had she said that? For Charlotte?
"Yes, for Charlotte", she answered for the third time, getting irritated at me. "It was a banquet for Charlotte, and we put out all kinds of fancy food. It was for all sorts of people who are dead, there was a banquet for them. So my banquet was for Charlotte."
"Yes, for Charlotte", she answered for the third time, getting irritated at me. "It was a banquet for Charlotte, and we put out all kinds of fancy food. It was for all sorts of people who are dead, there was a banquet for them. So my banquet was for Charlotte."
"Oh," I replied. "That sounds like fun."
She was quiet, for a while. Then she said, "Do you know what children can do, children who die? They can look up in the stars and find a grown up who died, and then they can ask that grown up if they can be their new mother. That's what they can do. I think that's what Charlotte could do."
And I thought, she's got a perfectly good mother down here. I wish she didn't need to do that, but of course I responded that the idea was a good one, because you've got to give her credit.
And then lastly, after dinner, Aoife was calling Liam a riggedy-rascal, and he didn't like that, and told her not to. And so she said, "I'm going to call Charlotte a riggedy-rascal, because she's not here to tell me not to, because she's dead."
Sibling rivalry never ends, does it. It made me laugh a little, even though I probably should have cried.
Sibling rivalry never ends, does it. It made me laugh a little, even though I probably should have cried.
4 comments:
I was just going to say, if you don't laugh you'll cry. I'm trying hard not to do both at the same time as I read this post.
She sounds like such a sweet little girl your, Aoife. I'm sure she and Charlotte would have caused much mischief together and been the bestest of friends. I'm glad Aoife will get that now baby Fiona is here.
And for what it is worth, I think Charlotte does indeed have a perfect mother, even if she can't be physically where she is.
xo
Oh, dear Carol. Your children have such a gift of wisdom and insight--a gift from Charlotte, I think.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love that Charlotte is real to these beautiful children of yours--to Liam, to Aoife, and soon to Fiona. She isn't something sacred on a high shelf, to be looked at and spoken of in hushed and hallowed tones. She is their sister and she is as real as the siblings who share the dinner table. I love it.
It makes me so happy that you laughed.
kids do think their own way...
I often think that I must be careful not to compare my (future, living) children to their older sister. "Serenity would have slept thru the night; she never would've talked back" There are many ways for me to idealize her, and no sibling could live up to that.
Happy belated birthday to Charlotte.
As for the little sister quotes-I say either your laughing or your crying-laughter feels as much like love as crying.
xo
Lara
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