Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Yum

Couldn't you just eat her? Really, though, there is this thing about a newborn baby where it's as if you can't get enough of them, you can't get closer to them. I remember a friend of mine saying he wanted to put his babies into his mouth, he just couldn't figure out how else to get them where he felt they were possibly close enough to his heart. And Fiona Clementine is one yummy girl.

Tonight, while my support group happens without me, I am scheming about how I can go back to it. I really, really want to go back. It absolutely feeds my soul and to boot, I have been taking this absolutely kickass Motherwoman Facilitator Training and I'm dying to put all my new ideas to work as soon as I go back. And also? I'm a control freak and I can't help but just wonder what's happening without me there. There's that.


And then there's Fiona Clementine. Who I obviously can't leave, obviously. I really want to try to acquire an invisibility cloak that I can just lay on top of her while she snoozes quietly in my lap. Hmm... I have this new plan, though, which might work better than the invisibility cloak. The next meeting isn't until the 27th of January, at which time my little bubs will be nearly 11 weeks old. Some people manage to go back to work by this time, and what I'm working on is trying to finagle a two hour support group meeting... and what I've come up with is that I need to bring someone with me, a chaperone for Fiona. We'll go upstairs to a nice lobby area I know of, and I'll nurse her, and the chaperone, armed with a working cellphone, will wrap her up on her/his chest nice and tight and start to take her for a nice walk in areas where no bereaved parents will see her. Then I'll run downstairs where Greg will have dutifully set up our meeting, and I'll run the meeting with my cellphone in my pocket, in case my sweet darling wakes up at all and needs her mama. In which case I could be to her in about 1 minute. And, geographically, I won't be more than a few hundred yards from her. I think I could handle that six weeks from now. I really think I could. Because I would be doing it for Charlotte. Historically, Charlotte is the only person who can help me to separate from my babies. The first time I left Liam and Aoife, in both cases, was to go to support group meetings because I felt like I had to carve out time in my life to be Charlotte time. And so, I shall do it again. I am posting it here and this will make it less likely that I will back down: next month it shall be, I will begin again.

9 comments:

mommymichael said...

that sounds like an excellent plan.
it's essentially what i did during my Hypnobabies Instructor training. My mother came with me to CA, and took care of my son, bringing him in when it was time for him to eat. Then during lunch breaks, we'd snuggle and nurse some more. It was perfect for us.

Erika P said...

She is absolutely delicious and I love all the photos of her. My heart aches with wanting, seeing her, but I'm also so thrilled that you have her - and I know you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

The group tonight was good, and I balanced out Greg to make an even ratio of women to men. But I would love to have you back for the next one; I keep finding myself thinking, "Hmmm, Carol said something about that on her blog - I wish she was here to talk about it." I like your plan here for coming to the January meeting and I'll hold you to it. :)
xo

Adelaide said...

I wish I could be Fiona's chaperone. What fun to hold that little bundle of yumminess....
xo Rika

kris said...

Oh, I see some Aoife in that sweet face. I wish I still lived close enough to be her chaperone. As our dear N can tell you, I'm never happier than when I am curled around sweetness.

You will do it and Fiona will understand. She will know that you're doing it for her big sister, and for all those parents who look to you for hope.

Hope's Mama said...

Oh you're right, she is very yummy! I too wish I could be her chaperone.

excavator said...

She's delicious. I can't get enough of newborns. I didn't know that about myself until I had a newborn of my own.

Then I wished I'd started having children 10 years younger so I could have had 10.

Beth said...

sounds like a perfect plan. your love for your 3 daughters and son is so, so evident.

Inanna said...

Delectable! I'm so jealous! :)) Gosh, they grow soooo fast, don't they?

Jen said...

Could I be her chaperone? I promise not to eat her, just sniff her and hug her and love her and call you the moment she gets fussy.