Tonight

At the dinner table, we sang the song we usually sing. (to the tune of the skater's waltz)

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, We love you

Happy Birthday, You made all our dreams come true

When we blow out your candles

One light stays aglow

That's because you're in our hearts, where e're we go



The kids looked at us, expectantly.

"Do you want to sing the regular birthday song?" we asked.

Enthusiastic nods.

They sang, joyously and with love. Happy Birthday to their sister they never knew, to the mystery person in the family.

Greg and I, in tears, tried to sing along.

Liam noticed, and burst into tears himself.

"I don't want you to be sad," he cried.

Aoife watched, astonished.



Later on, I went up to kiss Liam in his bed.

When I walked in, he said, "I love you Mimi. It's okay if you need to cry a little bit."

I obliged, almost soaking his pillow as I grieved for him, for her, for all of us.



This is easier than it was, but it's never easy.



(My clock is ticking. Around now, around 9 pm. We say goodbye forever.
For EVER.

Imagine that.)