tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post7881478670507932879..comments2023-11-02T04:05:19.890-07:00Comments on The Happy Sad Mama: Charlotte's Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-41429011897645327922008-04-26T20:48:00.000-07:002008-04-26T20:48:00.000-07:00I have to admit, I'm sensitive about the breastfee...I have to admit, I'm sensitive about the breastfeeding issue. I know and understand the benefits of breastfeeding and think we as a society should encourage women to do it and make it easy to do, I couldn't breastfeed. I really wanted to, but my milk never came in. Nobody ever said anything to me about not breastfeeding, but I still always felt like I had to justify why I wasn't. <BR/><BR/>I was probably particularly sensitive about it because I was stuck with a choice I didn't want, and I know why I should breastfeed, so I was stuck with a second-best choice. I felt inadequate on my own and certainly didn't need anybody to tell me why I should breastfeed. Even the bottles from the pump mocked me, reminding me breast milk is best as they remained stubbornly empty. <BR/><BR/>I want to clarify that I'm not taking offense at the comments about breastfeeding, but had to offer my own perspective on the judging-breastfeeding issue. <BR/><BR/>(While I'm at it, I'll admit that I'm equally sensitive about the fact that I had to have a C-section. Here again, I felt judged. I almost had to quit prenatal yoga because it made me feel so bad about how I was going to have my baby. And as with breastfeeding I felt like I had to justify why I was having one.)Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03533706560591305512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-57090577096433521372008-04-25T14:10:00.000-07:002008-04-25T14:10:00.000-07:00Liam and Aoife look so sweet!Ah the minefields of ...Liam and Aoife look so sweet!<BR/><BR/>Ah the minefields of judgment... I am not immune to judging either, particularly when it involves clear danger. And I'm with you on the breastfeeding, although I understand that not everyone has access to the same information about the benefits, and the pull of culture and peer pressure can be fierce.<BR/><BR/>I was upset the other day because the criticism was unsolicited, one source was a young male co-worker (M) who doesn't have kids, and the other was an older male co-worker (D) who does have a kid but thinks his parenting is right and mine is not. M doesn't even know what he's talking about but was still annoying and hurtful; he said I was overprotective, to Lily's detriment. (Um, hello, Lily is 12 months old... hell, yeah, I'm going to protect her.) D was even more hurtful. And it was an issue related to sleeping; D apparently thinks I'm a bad mama because Lily doesn't have a definite bedtime (just a range when she generally falls asleep), and he thought our nighttime sleeping arrangements weren't right. Oh for crying out loud. This isn't the first time he has unabashedly criticized my parenting choices. I try not to respond too much but it really upsets me. All these negative comments came at me on my birthday, no less, which they were aware of.<BR/><BR/>It would have been far nicer if they had kept these thoughts to themselves.<BR/><BR/>Another thought I had is that criticism about one's parenting is different from many other kinds of criticism, somehow... it feels so much more hurtful. Not that I especially enjoy being criticized in other ways, but it hurts to be told that I'm screwing up the most important job I will ever have- being Lily's mama.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07062095627197130537noreply@blogger.com