tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post6549573440922474034..comments2023-11-02T04:05:19.890-07:00Comments on The Happy Sad Mama: PlatitudesCharlotte's Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-86183716348123248012009-06-05T16:33:30.437-07:002009-06-05T16:33:30.437-07:00I am so absolutely in agreement that the differenc...I am so absolutely in agreement that the difference between what we think for ourselves, and what others say to us, is infinite. I also did have the thought, many times, thank god she wasn't alive in some precarious position where life support would have to be turned off, at my order. But that's me thinking, not somebody else's words. Those two are not comparable.Charlotte's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-45775003277971895802009-05-29T08:28:42.174-07:002009-05-29T08:28:42.174-07:00People say such incredibly stupid and hurtful thin...People say such incredibly stupid and hurtful things.<br /><br />I will confess, though, like Charmed Girl, after I lost the twins, I spent a lot of time comforting myself by saying "at least, I can be grateful that they didn't live longer, that I was spared having them linger for days or weeks and then having to let them go." <br /><br />But there's a huge difference between what a grieving mother says to herself, inside her own mind, and what is appropriate or kind for others to say to her.niobehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10685766216611639434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-41901830938662303242009-05-27T10:24:59.110-07:002009-05-27T10:24:59.110-07:00As you know, I've been there. I find it hard to be...As you know, I've been there. I find it hard to believe that any medical professional in that situation would use words like "grateful," "harder," or "easier." Intellectually I get what they're saying, sorta, but emotionally it's like pouring hydrochloric acid on a wound. The doctor that gave me the speech had never even touched my son, he was just a "chart guy" who clearly felt parents shouldn't bother with such odds. But for the most part, thankfully, I couldn't be happier with the level of care and compassion exhibited towards my son who died and my son who remains in the NICU.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-26767859791531095172009-05-27T07:56:53.330-07:002009-05-27T07:56:53.330-07:00I'm nearly speechless. But I can't say that I'm s...I'm nearly speechless. But I can't say that I'm surprised. Having been in the medical profession for over ten years, I've seen plenty. As a nurse, I often see a difference between nurses who have children and nurses who don't. (Please, no tomatoes people... I realize that this is not an "all or nothing"... just a frequent observation I've made over the years.)<br /><br />When it comes to dealing with laboring mothers and newborn infants, I OFTEN see a difference in the bedside manner between those who have been through the experience and those who haven't. I don't know how to fix this. I wish I had some answers. Unfortunately, for some people, they will just never "get it" until they walk in someone else's shoes. It's horrific.Team Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07351640101914132656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-44475028128691420392009-05-27T07:04:08.139-07:002009-05-27T07:04:08.139-07:00Is there a mother among us who wouldn't, at that m...Is there a mother among us who wouldn't, at that moment, have given our lives for our baby? People around me are all so glad I didn't die (which I came so very close to doing) because I have so much to live for--and I do--I truly, truly do!--but at that moment. THAT moment, you know the one I'm talking about...I would have given it up for her. I miss her everyday.Aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10289999392739724304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-51825934553826317872009-05-27T06:06:20.544-07:002009-05-27T06:06:20.544-07:00i'm gonna tell the truth here...i could think of n...i'm gonna tell the truth here...i could think of nothing but this during my 5 days in the hospital. i'm sure someone may have also said it, but i can't remember exactly. <br /><br />all i can remember is being thankful she didn't die after being born alive.<br /><br />i don't know...less to lose? less to love? i just couldn't imagine being there with her alive and then losing her. it's certainly no contest, though...i don't think the week of pregnancy or loss after birth or whatever makes a loss more or less significant. i DO, however, think that people who never lost a baby should SHUT THE F UP.charmedgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12317107200577724625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-3858697670340548462009-05-26T20:42:58.162-07:002009-05-26T20:42:58.162-07:00Good Lord. Some people have no filter. What the ...Good Lord. Some people have no filter. What the hell was he thinking?! There's a reason our kindergarten teachers reminded us to think before we spoke!krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03000832911239038894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-91110133581566932182009-05-26T20:14:54.884-07:002009-05-26T20:14:54.884-07:00Geezus WTF doctor said this to you? What the hell ...Geezus WTF doctor said this to you? What the hell is wrong with that person? I mean seriously!<br /><br />I am with you and Hope's MAma, how lucky we would have been to hold our girls with life in their bodies, to sing sweetly to them, to kiss them, to whisper I love you....and to nurse them to "sleep".<br /><br />What I would not have given to be able to see her eyes open, even if only for a second.<br /><br />sigh.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06959816794813024196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-15202794687993441552009-05-26T17:19:27.176-07:002009-05-26T17:19:27.176-07:00Thankfully, in nine months, this one hasn't been u...Thankfully, in nine months, this one hasn't been uttered to me. But there have been many other stupid comments, and we've all heard them all before.<br />I'm with you Carol. I'd give anything for just one minute with her. To kiss her, hold her and tell her I love her. And for her to look me in the eyes and let me know, she knows.Hope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.com