tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post3588354411776428204..comments2023-11-02T04:05:19.890-07:00Comments on The Happy Sad Mama: Fearing fearCharlotte's Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-10749417307387894712009-06-17T01:59:33.321-07:002009-06-17T01:59:33.321-07:00MagicKitchen.com Reaching To Micro Preemie Babies ...MagicKitchen.com Reaching To <a href="http://epressreleases.blogspot.com/2009/06/micro-preemie-babies-parents.html" rel="nofollow">Micro Preemie Babies Parents</a> With Graham's Foundation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-55105908347162387582009-05-26T15:39:02.938-07:002009-05-26T15:39:02.938-07:00Isn't this amazing?
The "window"???????????
My ja...Isn't this amazing? <br />The "window"???????????<br />My jaw is sitting on the floor right now, as I imagine that this man must never had had children of his own. <br />If he does, he clearly has a very different relationship with them than I do to mine. <br />WINDOW???<br />Less time to bond being better? <br />And what would you give for one more day with Oliver, I wonder? <br />Would that day of bonding made his passing more difficult, or would you perhaps cherish that day?Charlotte's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-859690718698562302009-05-25T09:29:32.799-07:002009-05-25T09:29:32.799-07:00I think I've read this post 20 times, amazed at it...I think I've read this post 20 times, amazed at its beauty and sadness while realizing with a surreal start that you're describing (so accurately) what my family is going through. To lose one child while the other clings to life creates a mix of emotions and realities that I never thought I could bear. And guilt which I AM trying to work through. At first, when Oliver was failing, all energies on him, Charlie was fine in his incubator, just leave him alone and he'll be okay, he's just little. Then, after Oliver died, all focus on Charlie whose situation was far more precarious than realized, forget about Oliver, he's gone, no time to grieve. Then the slow realization of the endless, agonizing, massive grief for Oliver lying just under the onion skin layer of "holding it together" for our other son and because the NICU is no place for any kind of breakdowns. Still no time for that, though, must keep it back even though it keeps seeping up and leaving stains on the fabric. Then horrible, scary setbacks with Charlie, an insensitive clueless doctor (not his regular one) telling me (on Mother's Day) over his incubator that it would be best to pull the plug now rather than later because we'll just bond more if we let time pass and miss "the window of opportunity" of pulling him off the ventilator. Then a stream of more positive new amidst new challenges. Weight gain, better respiration, successful feeding tubes starting up his digestive system. How can we not hope? We do, tremendously, even though the unfreezing of emotions opens the door to even greater loss. But it's too late, doctor, sorry to disappoint you but we've missed our "window."<br /><br />Carol, it moves me more than I can say that you are pulling for Charlie and grieving for Oliver, as I am for Charlotte. And to Mel I can only offer compassion for losing both her twin boys. And now I'm off to see Charlie and will tell him about these amazing people who are rooting for him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-80235889811617160122009-05-24T17:57:20.947-07:002009-05-24T17:57:20.947-07:00The Miller story sounds a lot like my own, only th...The Miller story sounds a lot like my own, only that our second twin boy did die after two days. I can say that in my case, the grief and shock overtook any slim hope that I felt in those two days. <br /><br />Congrats on your pregnancy. I am also pregnant with what I imagine will be our third living child. I had a "successful" tubal ligation after the birth of my youngest, since there are risks involved with me being pregnant. Given the three years of infertility that preceded the conception of my oldest, this comes as quite a shock.Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06644376488664527391noreply@blogger.com