tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post1010333974213044292..comments2023-11-02T04:05:19.890-07:00Comments on The Happy Sad Mama: Charlotte's Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06664161835198688326noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-87724057699544519412008-08-12T13:22:00.000-07:002008-08-12T13:22:00.000-07:00How about three years out and you start to feel li...How about three years out and you start to feel like you are on the backslide, that is how I feel lately!!! Why I DO NOT know but I do.Taniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09279601030202501611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-40698544767133732592008-08-07T21:08:00.000-07:002008-08-07T21:08:00.000-07:00Carol, how wonderful it is that these families hav...Carol, how wonderful it is that these families have somewhere to turn. You are providing something immeasurable. You may not be able to take their pain away, but you let them know that they are not alone and what they feel is real and their precious baby is real. And you also help them to see that the future holds hope. That can help them get through the really hard times, knowing that you did that, too, and it can be done. But most of all, you let them express the emotion and it's safe for them to do that with you. You validate them and their children. You should be very very proud.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06658154113502239383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-30222179231880297732008-08-07T19:35:00.000-07:002008-08-07T19:35:00.000-07:00Hi, I'm a new comment-er.For me, that feeling of s...Hi, I'm a new comment-er.<BR/><BR/>For me, that feeling of stagnation started about 5 months after delivery and hasn't left yet (I'm at 9 months now). Like you said, everything involving saying goodbye, holding memorials, and reviewing memories is over. Once all the things energy was poured into are complete then what? And family and friends do move on and, in my experience, get frustrated that they can't do anything to make the hurt go away.<BR/><BR/>The months following a loss are horrible, filled with acute grief, but the later months are awful in a different way. It's a very lonely time.<BR/><BR/>It's wonderful that you started a local support group!AnnaBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01614241329182982677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-84831825148467003942008-08-06T17:44:00.000-07:002008-08-06T17:44:00.000-07:00I didn't feel so much that I was going backwards a...I didn't feel so much that I was going backwards as everyone else was STILL going. Yes, they had taken time out to send a card or help with a meal or even come over for a chunk of time to watch my living children. But it was all help and stuff that fit their schedule and their lives. Because, oddly enough, their lives KEPT GOING! So a few months out they were back to their lives, that they never really left, and I was just standing there. HELLO!?!?! Anyone remember me? My baby?? Hello!?!?!? And I stood there. And time passed by and I still stood there. I went to the grocery store and ran into friends..."Hey! How are you doing?" they would ask. As if they really wanted an answer...but they didn't. And i knew that. "Fine." Yeah right. They would push their cart by and down the next isle. "Nice to see you!" Uh huh.<BR/><BR/>I have a friend going through this now, like you. She is 8 months out from the loss of her twin boys. She feels like she is going crazy, but she isn't. She calls me regularly just to check and I know she is perfectly sane. "You will get through this!" I assure her. She needs to hear it. Then I hang up the phone, thankful that I'm not 8 months out anymore...but still so painfully aware of where I am and what I have lost and I long to be where you are.... She asks me, "How did you manage a year and a half of this??" and I just talk about my friend Carol, who some how, some way has managed 5 YEARS. It seems a miracle to us.Aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10289999392739724304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1237529515432696063.post-35205127204654773522008-08-06T17:41:00.000-07:002008-08-06T17:41:00.000-07:00That was me three weeks ago.That was me three weeks ago.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02338130051182407335noreply@blogger.com